It's amazing how I actually found someone, a stranger to be accurate, that I can relate to. What's more, it's a guy. Somehow, just seeing him makes me feel good. Talking to him about something random or simply teasing him lights up my day. I'm contented like this, and grateful too that I've found someone that PERHAPS I can connect to at a deeper level.
Yet at the same time, I feel ever more fearful as I feel more comfortable around him. That phobia of being turned away once more, or perhaps that something more just reigns in the hurt & pain. Though it's only the 3rd week of school, I can already feel myself distancing myself from this friend of mine. Call me coward, but I truly feel afraid, more so than I've ever been before.
I can't quite figure out why though, so I won't bother. Right now, I'm just too busy with schoolwork to think otherwise.
School's been pretty good so far, lectures are far more interesting than what I've had in mind for weeks. Geography though, might be a challenge for me considering I don't eat, sleep and breathe ROCKS @_@ Who does that anyway?! Pressure's kicking in, but it's a good thing since I haven't had so much faith & trust put into me in a long time. I love SAJC now cause JCAT is in the school :D
Yet at the same time, I feel ever more fearful as I feel more comfortable around him. That phobia of being turned away once more, or perhaps that something more just reigns in the hurt & pain. Though it's only the 3rd week of school, I can already feel myself distancing myself from this friend of mine. Call me coward, but I truly feel afraid, more so than I've ever been before.
I can't quite figure out why though, so I won't bother. Right now, I'm just too busy with schoolwork to think otherwise.
School's been pretty good so far, lectures are far more interesting than what I've had in mind for weeks. Geography though, might be a challenge for me considering I don't eat, sleep and breathe ROCKS @_@ Who does that anyway?! Pressure's kicking in, but it's a good thing since I haven't had so much faith & trust put into me in a long time. I love SAJC now cause JCAT is in the school :D
Current Mood:
amused
Current Music: Beautiful-Akon
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